3 Steps to Control Negative Self-Talk

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Even when we do not say a word to another person, we are having an ongoing conversation with someone. No, we are no participating in some form of mind-reading or telepathy, and the someone to which I am referring is not another person. It is a conversation within each of us that we have with ourselves. Intrapersonal communication, commonly known as self-talk, is very powerful and mostly manifest as thoughts.

Studies show we average 6,000–10,000 thoughts a day, and up to a third of those are on repeat. If you never utter a word to another person, you are still talking to yourself over and over again. It is important that you have some strategies for controlling negative self-talk. Here are 3 steps that can help.

Step 1) Identify Your negative thoughts. Being negative is such a subjective thing, and so are negative thoughts. What may seem like negativity to one person, may be realism to another. The key to identifying if your thoughts are negative or not is to match them up against your goals, desires, and dreams for your life. If those thoughts do not bring you closer to fulfillment, then they are negative. Even more so, if they pull you away from attainment or even from just trying, they are negative and do not positively work toward your success. Once you have identified the culprits, it is time for step 2.

Step 2) Arrest negative thoughts immediately. It is important to your mental health to make sure you end any stray thoughts that are detrimental to your success. Stop them in their tracks. The reality is you have these thoughts and you hear them. However, you do not have to own them and definitely do not have to repeat them in your head or aloud. Do not give them space. In fact, push them out of that space and fill it with something else. That is step 3.

Step 3) Create the antithesis thought. After you have identified you are in the midst of a negative conversation with your self and have stopped those thoughts in their tracks, replace them with positive, purpose-driven, goal focused, affirming messages that will lead you toward manifesting the life you want. If you catch yourself saying, “There is no way I can get this done,” arrest it and replace it with, “This is going to be a challenge, but I am going to do my best.” If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m never going to be ask good as…,” stop that thought and say, “I am enough. I have value. I am capable.”

The more positive messages you share with yourself, the more you begin to reset your mindset to only produce and accept thoughts that are positive and beneficial to your success. Play attention to what you say. You are always listening.

I’m a Communication Coach, Speaker, Author, & Life Coach. I help others understand communication in order to create effective messages with others & themselves.

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